Songs about changes

I feel like, as a young adult, my life is contantly changing. It is not always comfortable or expected, mostly dreadful. One thing that I have in mind when transitioning into a new life chapter is, “will I find anything better?” Be it person(s) or jobs.

Changes are inevitable and not always welcomed, but these songs make them bearable. These songs help me process my grief and some remind me to believe that something better will come— no matter how impossible it looks at the moment.

The Weepies - World Spins Madly On

I woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you’d gone
And let the world spin madly on

I believe this song best illustrates the feelings experienced when someone, including myself, is processing changes. Something good has left me; I’d rather be dead at the moment. Figuratively, or literally when it hurts too bad. I don’t know; I don’t care.

Everyone has left me. Everything has left me. I have lost the strength to face anything anymore. Everyone seems cool about it. The world is still turning regardless, but I can’t even get out of the darkness that chained me. But you know what? I don’t even want to move.

I remember walking around a lake at my university before the semester started. It was the first semester after my friends had all graduated, except me (and a few other people). I dreaded the fact that that place would be unfamiliar from that moment on. As if my world stopped.

But strangely, this song also kind of serves as a warning.

And everything that I said I’d do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept
Right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

This verse always reminds me of my parents and how I will regret not doing the best for them. I can see myself sitting in the dark, thinking about how I should’ve done what they asked for, fulfilled their simple wishes, and not let them feel lonely. Loneliness is one of the silent killers for the ageing population; I know that, but have I done anything?

There are many ways I can process an overwhelming feeling. Blasting this song on repeat while lying in the dark and staring blankly at the ceiling is one of them. This song makes me feel seen and makes me feel better because I know what I have been through is a shared human experience. I just let myself drown in this song and my tears for some time.

Utada Hikaru - Simple and Clean

Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning
Is a little later on
Regardless of warnings, the future doesn’t scare me at all
Nothing’s like before

I love this song because of this verse specifically. This verse is incredibly powerful and uplifting, instilling in me a fleeting belief that all will be well. Something better is coming.

What makes people afraid of changes is not knowing what the future holds. Will it be better or worse? I’d rather stay here forever, but of course that is not something we get to decide. Hence, having some kind of courage to step into the foggy path makes life a bit easier… regardless of whether that courage is sourced from naivety or strategy.

Fleetwood Mac - Landslide

It was at a karaoke with some coworkers-turned-friends that I got to listen to this song, word by word. We were having our farewell after our team disbanded agaisnt our will and this song my friend sang hit home.

Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin'
'Cause I’ve built my life around you

I was surrounded by people who I have built my life around. I kind of regret not showing more of the real me and I was grateful of the time we had.

Beyond the sad farewell, I think this song perfectly states another reason of why people dread changes: because they have to do the hardwork of rearranging their lives to accommodate whatever emptiness they feel. This verse also reminds me of my husband and how hard it would be to live without him.

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Inside me is a child who fears goodbyes. A child who built walls around herself because she doesn’t want to feel vulnerable. People come and go, and every departure hurts her deeply. Will this child survive?

Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Sometimes, I forget how I went through storms safely. I can never get used to them. There is no guarantee that I will be back on my feet again after the next storm. Will I be able to find myself again?

###Overall… Songs help me process overwhelming feelings. These songs, in particular, are so beautiful and effective in tending my hurting heart and longing for the past. It’s part of being human, and it’s going to be alright.